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More OT3-ness stuff...
Man, you'd think the regular messed up nuances of couples were growing out of style for me. But then Prism-sama writes such convincing TemaShikaChou that I have to copycat. "Full Charge" 2,000 words of unedited muck.
Everyone in Konoha knew that Temari and Shikamaru were together even before they were. Of course Shikamaru was the last to know, because while he was a brilliant strategist who could calculate even the most desperate of moves, he was studiously ignoring how helpless he was against Temari of the Sand’s sheer determination. That wasn’t desperation...that was sheer insanity.
Shikamaru didn’t know why she decided to pick him out of all the others. It wasn’t self-depreciation in regards to his good qualities, it was self-preservation. Women and romances and stuff that involved anything more than someone lying by your side to stare at clouds was just too damn troublesome to add onto his other responsibilities that he couldn’t get out of. He didn’t try and bother with it, but when someone decided to just up and ignore the fact that he was completely uninterested he had to wonder what was wrong with her.
Chouji was helpful in elucidating his genius friend, simply saying, “You’re a loyal friend. Smart, well-liked, and you can cook stir fry. Who wouldn’t want you?”
“Don’t spread it around, or else you’ll give her more ideas,” Shikamaru grunted and rolled over on his side. “Next she’ll want me cooking.”
The clouds were a pretty shade against the blue sky, Chouji thought to himself. The same kind of blue when Shikamaru first strolled up to him and declared himself as a friend. It was brusque and tactless, and Chouji loved him for it.
Which is why he knew, before the rest of the village, before Temari could make the leap between confidence and iron-clad assurance, before Shikamaru had a second to protest in the way he would have if she didn’t kiss him so fast and leave him breathless...Chouji knew that Temari would succeed in having Shikamaru fall in love with her.
She was too much like him to say otherwise and too different to just let it go, which is why Chouji didn’t bother telling his friend when he heard her coming up the hill to lie down at his other side. The soft sound of his breath hitching as she touched him made Chouji’s stomach twist, because he knew that was a weakness of Shikamaru—the direct attack that he unconsciously used in dealing with mundane things, or very important things. Because when everything was out and open on the table the mind had no choice but to accept it or run away, chasing false leads of something that was supposed to be hidden when it wasn’t.
Temari was in love with Shikamaru and she showed him so that he could not mistake it for anything else.
Chouji was in love with Shikamaru and he kept silent.
And Shikamaru always said that sometimes there was no other course of action except a direct attack in order to force your opponent into conflict and send him off balance. Except this wasn’t a battle, and regardless of the fact that Temari and Chouji could have been seen as rivals in wanting Shikamaru’s affection they were not. She and he both wanted the same thing, but their means were different, and he could not resent her because she wouldn’t hurt Shikamaru. He had to like her even, because she was a lot like him, all brazen and wit looking for something to temper her jagged edges.
Chouji could hear her chuckle against his neck, and the slow movement of the clouds provided no noise to disrupt him from hearing the faint sound of Shikamaru capitulating to her, just a tiny bit.
Days and weeks passed by, like a routine game of shougi. Shikamaru would spend most of his free time with Chouji doing the same things they always did and nothing between them changed. The only difference was that Temari would sometimes be waiting for them and sometimes she would come later. But it wasn’t like things changed really, their friendship was too full of subtlety for that. Shikamaru would say as much as he normally did to Chouji, except now he wasn’t as quiet because Temari prodded him all the time and if anything he would talk more, asking for help to make her stop.
Temari would just smile at him, in a way that reminded Chouji of Shikamaru’s smile once he saw someone walk into a trap that would lead to his inevitable victory. The only problem was that he didn’t know which one of them it was directed at anymore.
One day she came earlier than Chouji did, and Shikamaru was not there yet. The sky looked more grey than blue and Temari was wearing a purple yukata in preparation for her brothers' return visit. He said nothing, finding nothing to say, and sat down as if nothing else had changed.
“You look a lot better than when I first saw you,” Temari announced by way of conversation.
He didn’t want to be angry. They weren’t enemies, because she was going at it headlong and he was meandering around things and it wasn’t her fault. “Don’t get used to it. I’m gaining the weight back,” he said in a self-effacing mumble.
“I was talking about that stupid headgear,” Temari continued. A direct attack overwhelms all feints. “Trust me, wearing your band around your neck is easier in the long run. And you look better with your hair like that. It’s kinda cute.”
Chouji fumbled with the band and his too large clothes, feeling even smaller now. He made a noise in his throat that sounded like it could have been an apology.
Now that he thought about it, his hair looked more like Shikamaru’s without his covering, but unbound. Temari and Shikamaru had to bind their hair into prickly ends so they could manage. Shikamaru’s hair was beautiful when it just hung around his shoulders, Temari’s probably would look the same. Blonde and black split ends tangling up. Chouji didn’t think about his hair and that’s what surprised him when Temari took a rough hand and gently rubbed his hair into a muss before she went down to greet Shikamaru in her pretty yukata.
Then when the day was over and the sky was a deep orange, Temari waved goodbye to Chouji like nothing at all had changed. He was in the middle of stuttering out a formal reply when Shikamaru grunted and stood up to join her.
“Where are you going Shikamaru?” Chouji asked.
The young chuunin laughed and scratched his head. “Aw, I have to take her to her brothers. It’s complicated.”
Before leaving he hugged his friend and smiled in that way that he did when he was giving Chouji the last snack and his stomach was grumbling despite it all.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” was Shikamaru’s way of parting as he walked off into the growing dusk.
Chouji didn’t hate Temari, despite his jealousy. After all the times he chewed whatever words he’d be saying until the inside of his cheek was raw with the eaten confessions he no longer hungered for some reason to dislike her. If anything, he just found it becoming more and more confusing about the reasons why he was jealous.
Shikamaru was off his game anyway, trying to juggle all his responsibilities that suddenly snuck up on him. It gave Chouji a sense of security to know that when he would fall he would still reach for his best friend’s scarf to hold on. That never changed, even though it would be Temari’s fan he’d use as a crutch to keep from sinking into the pitfalls. It would be Temari who struck out ahead, confident and bickering at every pathway they crossed, picking one randomly even though she had no idea where she was going.
And Shikamaru would complain and follow her. Chouji would then follow them both, staring at their backs without blinking until her purple and gold melded with his green and black and it was simply a mesh of colors. Sharp and subtle and inviting him to just take a few more steps in order to join them.
“Chouji, you’re too quiet,” Temari grunted in declaration.
“You’re too noisy,” Shikamaru retorted back lazily. Only it wasn’t simply a defense for his friend, but part of their dialogue where she would state something outrageous and wait for his counterattack.
“I’m just hungry,” Chouji said and shuffled off to the side.
Except Temari was blocking his way, herding him back to Shikamaru as she tossed him a small roll of sushi. “Here, I made it myself.”
The other boy’s eyebrows furrowed in concern and he didn’t have to say anything before Temari rounded on him, her arms thrown up in exasperation. “Okay, fine. From now on I’ll save your ass and you do the cooking.”
“Thank you,” Chouji said, unwrapping the rolls and filling his mouth with them so they wouldn’t expect him to talk further.
Shikamaru stared up at the sky, grumbling, “I told you you’d give her ideas.”
“Shut up,” Temari laughed, with absolutely no malice in it at all.
It had gotten to the point where he could not think of them as wholly separate. Even when Chouji talked to Ino of the times before there were the moments where it was what Shikamaru would say if Temari was nearby, or Shikamaru as he looked when she or he had done something expecting to get caught. They were a lot alike after all.
Then the day came when Shikamaru knew, and Chouji knew that he knew because he could smell the scent that was no longer distinctly sand and jasmine fully on Shikamaru. The siege was over, although it never could be counted as such. He wondered if such confusion was the supposed advantage of plunging into the unknown, leaving everything behind on a gambit.
Temari deserved it, they both knew. She was the only one who was persistent enough to put up with him. And Chouji didn’t think he had to put up with Shikamaru. He didn’t have to put up with Temari either. They were too much alike, and he loved Shikamaru, and he loved Temari, and he loved how they clashed and sparked against each other, how the smell of forest and sand grew fuller when they mixed.
But he tugged at the bandages that covered both his arms, around his knuckles and elbows, and wondered why neither of them bothered with such ornamentation.
“Hey, Chouji,” Shikamaru said, like nothing at all changed, “what’s wrong?”
He hadn’t changed. Not really. Neither did Temari. They were just like they were supposed to be. Everything about them was laid bare in the introduction, both of them shouting out intentions and leaving nothing else left to hide behind.
Chouji didn’t know he was crying until he felt the tears slipping down, and he laughed like Temari did before, with no anger in it. “I’m sorry Shikamaru, I just got scared.”
Shikamaru just grunted and leaned into him, as if the wind suddenly became too much for him to bother standing against. “What a pain in the ass this is,” he leaned in, and Chouji could feel the imprint of his jaw against flesh. “You know I love you.”
“I...yeah.”
Shikamaru grunted. “You know she loves you too.”
Chouji flushed and bowed his head, feeling the coldness of his metal headband where it hung around his neck still. “But...”
“She’s a pain about it, I know,” Shikamaru replied, which was both exactly what Chouji needed to know and what he didn’t.
Temari was walking down the path to meet them, and Chouji could see the span of her giant fan cast a shadow so large it looked as if it could encompass them all. She was wearing a smirk just as large as she saw how Shikamaru laid on him.
“But what about...” Chouji didn’t know what to say, didn’t know what to call it. Perhaps this was what it felt to be under a direct attack.
“I always said relationships were complicated,” Shikamaru sighed, staring up at a sky that was blue like any other sky. “Troublesome.”
And Temari stood by them with a fan that blocked out the sunlight and said, “You say that about everything.”
Despite his confusion Chouji knew the best answer. “Because it’s true.”
ETA:
“So, lemme get this straight...” Temari drawled with one hand on her throne and the other gently caressing her fan. “You want to fight me, the badass Kazekage, for bedroom rights on my boytoy?”
Shikamaru shot her an annoyed look, more for intimidating his prostrate friend than for the remark. He had gotten used to that attitude in Sand Country, as much of a pain as it was. “Hey now, Temari...”
“Yes I do!” Chouji shouted and moved from his bowing position to one on his knees. His one bandaged fist was clenched and there was a fire in his eyes that no one had seen outside of an Akimichi barbeque, and no one outside of the clan lived to tell about those events.
From the gallery seating, one could hear Rock Lee’s echoed cheer of “You can do it Chouji-san! Be the best you can be and win for true love!”
Shikamaru rolled his eyes. So that’s where Chouji got this harebrained scheme. He tried to coax his muscles to work so he could step in between them, but the pillows Temari got for him were very comfortable, and he was very lazy.
Besides, things weren’t bad being a counselor for the Sand Country really. When he first got here he was worried that Temari might stake her claims on him (which she did) and put a chain around his neck to parade like some kind of pet in the counsel chambers (which she didn’t, although that didn’t stop her from experimenting in their private quarters...).
It was really sweet that Chouji came to “rescue” him, but he had to admit, grabby behavior and her inability to cook aside, this was a nice arrangement. Really, she got other people to cook for both of them.
“I won’t let you hold the one I love captive!” Chouji declared again, albeit a little hesitant in his delivery. And this time Shikamaru was sure Lee had given him note cards to read off of, but the heart was there and it tugged a smile at his lips. If he wasn’t afraid of his girlfriend beating the tar out of his boyfriend, he would think of it as sweet.
Temari shot Shikamaru a look that translated as “Look, I want to be tactful here, but I’m very close to violence and sarcasm so could you deal with this for once since it’s your problem?” And she declared every word of that sentiment perfectly, half because they were intimate after a long time and the other part was because Temari was very...expressive.
“Wait a second you two...” Shikamaru waved them off.
“You can do it Chouji!” Lee, being not helpful again.
Temari sighed and shouted over to the gallery, “Gaara, go take your boyfriend somewhere else and shut him up!”
And even though she couldn’t tell because of the shadows, she knew somehow her little brother was enjoying this on some level. The bastard...
“There you go again, telling people what to do...” Chouji started, “Shikamaru doesn’t like being bossed around. I don’t want to fight you but if you’d just let him choose...”
Temari grimaced and in her frustration she slammed the two ton fan into the ground, leaving cracks into the palace floor. “Shikamaru!” She strolled over to where he was and pulled him up to her face. “You’re the genius. Figure out a solution!”
Shikamaru sighed. He looked to Chouji, who was willing to risk his life against a full blown Kazekage for his safety. He looked back at Temari, who was willing to swallow her pride for his best wishes. Suddenly, his mouth quirked into a grin as he thought of a solution to their problem. It was so deceptively simple that this time he didn’t even need to clasp his hands in concentration.
Shikamaru tugged Temari closer to whisper into her ear. For a second she had no reaction, then her eyes went wide and she looked as if she was going to slap him, then she looked like she was going to kiss him. Neither one boded well in Chouji’s view.
“Hey Chouji-san,” Temari smirked, smoothing out the wrinkles she made in Shikamaru’s yukata a little too seductively. “How do you feel about being in a harem?”
“A harem?” squeaked the young chuunin.
“Yeah, why not?” Temari said, “Shikamaru thought of it. You two can get free room and board and I get two handsome Leaf boys.”
When Chouji’s jaw didn’t drop to the floor, Shikamaru saw it as a good sign. “Hey Chouji, come on, Naruto gets teased for his Hyuuga harem, why not live up the good life?”
Chouji looked at Temari and blushed bright red. “Well, I’m not really sure about this but...if it’d make you happy Shikamaru...”
“Such a beautiful happy ending! True love finally does win out! I’m overjoyed! I’m ecstatic! I’m—”
“Gaara! I’ll give you a week’s vacation off patrol if you take him with you right now!” Temari shouted.
There was a sound like an entire beach had suddenly moved to better waters and small hearts floating away into the distance. In the new found silence Shikamaru realized, groping aside, Temari had the potential of a great Kazekage.
And he was looking forward to some downtime in a harem.
Everyone in Konoha knew that Temari and Shikamaru were together even before they were. Of course Shikamaru was the last to know, because while he was a brilliant strategist who could calculate even the most desperate of moves, he was studiously ignoring how helpless he was against Temari of the Sand’s sheer determination. That wasn’t desperation...that was sheer insanity.
Shikamaru didn’t know why she decided to pick him out of all the others. It wasn’t self-depreciation in regards to his good qualities, it was self-preservation. Women and romances and stuff that involved anything more than someone lying by your side to stare at clouds was just too damn troublesome to add onto his other responsibilities that he couldn’t get out of. He didn’t try and bother with it, but when someone decided to just up and ignore the fact that he was completely uninterested he had to wonder what was wrong with her.
Chouji was helpful in elucidating his genius friend, simply saying, “You’re a loyal friend. Smart, well-liked, and you can cook stir fry. Who wouldn’t want you?”
“Don’t spread it around, or else you’ll give her more ideas,” Shikamaru grunted and rolled over on his side. “Next she’ll want me cooking.”
The clouds were a pretty shade against the blue sky, Chouji thought to himself. The same kind of blue when Shikamaru first strolled up to him and declared himself as a friend. It was brusque and tactless, and Chouji loved him for it.
Which is why he knew, before the rest of the village, before Temari could make the leap between confidence and iron-clad assurance, before Shikamaru had a second to protest in the way he would have if she didn’t kiss him so fast and leave him breathless...Chouji knew that Temari would succeed in having Shikamaru fall in love with her.
She was too much like him to say otherwise and too different to just let it go, which is why Chouji didn’t bother telling his friend when he heard her coming up the hill to lie down at his other side. The soft sound of his breath hitching as she touched him made Chouji’s stomach twist, because he knew that was a weakness of Shikamaru—the direct attack that he unconsciously used in dealing with mundane things, or very important things. Because when everything was out and open on the table the mind had no choice but to accept it or run away, chasing false leads of something that was supposed to be hidden when it wasn’t.
Temari was in love with Shikamaru and she showed him so that he could not mistake it for anything else.
Chouji was in love with Shikamaru and he kept silent.
And Shikamaru always said that sometimes there was no other course of action except a direct attack in order to force your opponent into conflict and send him off balance. Except this wasn’t a battle, and regardless of the fact that Temari and Chouji could have been seen as rivals in wanting Shikamaru’s affection they were not. She and he both wanted the same thing, but their means were different, and he could not resent her because she wouldn’t hurt Shikamaru. He had to like her even, because she was a lot like him, all brazen and wit looking for something to temper her jagged edges.
Chouji could hear her chuckle against his neck, and the slow movement of the clouds provided no noise to disrupt him from hearing the faint sound of Shikamaru capitulating to her, just a tiny bit.
Days and weeks passed by, like a routine game of shougi. Shikamaru would spend most of his free time with Chouji doing the same things they always did and nothing between them changed. The only difference was that Temari would sometimes be waiting for them and sometimes she would come later. But it wasn’t like things changed really, their friendship was too full of subtlety for that. Shikamaru would say as much as he normally did to Chouji, except now he wasn’t as quiet because Temari prodded him all the time and if anything he would talk more, asking for help to make her stop.
Temari would just smile at him, in a way that reminded Chouji of Shikamaru’s smile once he saw someone walk into a trap that would lead to his inevitable victory. The only problem was that he didn’t know which one of them it was directed at anymore.
One day she came earlier than Chouji did, and Shikamaru was not there yet. The sky looked more grey than blue and Temari was wearing a purple yukata in preparation for her brothers' return visit. He said nothing, finding nothing to say, and sat down as if nothing else had changed.
“You look a lot better than when I first saw you,” Temari announced by way of conversation.
He didn’t want to be angry. They weren’t enemies, because she was going at it headlong and he was meandering around things and it wasn’t her fault. “Don’t get used to it. I’m gaining the weight back,” he said in a self-effacing mumble.
“I was talking about that stupid headgear,” Temari continued. A direct attack overwhelms all feints. “Trust me, wearing your band around your neck is easier in the long run. And you look better with your hair like that. It’s kinda cute.”
Chouji fumbled with the band and his too large clothes, feeling even smaller now. He made a noise in his throat that sounded like it could have been an apology.
Now that he thought about it, his hair looked more like Shikamaru’s without his covering, but unbound. Temari and Shikamaru had to bind their hair into prickly ends so they could manage. Shikamaru’s hair was beautiful when it just hung around his shoulders, Temari’s probably would look the same. Blonde and black split ends tangling up. Chouji didn’t think about his hair and that’s what surprised him when Temari took a rough hand and gently rubbed his hair into a muss before she went down to greet Shikamaru in her pretty yukata.
Then when the day was over and the sky was a deep orange, Temari waved goodbye to Chouji like nothing at all had changed. He was in the middle of stuttering out a formal reply when Shikamaru grunted and stood up to join her.
“Where are you going Shikamaru?” Chouji asked.
The young chuunin laughed and scratched his head. “Aw, I have to take her to her brothers. It’s complicated.”
Before leaving he hugged his friend and smiled in that way that he did when he was giving Chouji the last snack and his stomach was grumbling despite it all.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” was Shikamaru’s way of parting as he walked off into the growing dusk.
Chouji didn’t hate Temari, despite his jealousy. After all the times he chewed whatever words he’d be saying until the inside of his cheek was raw with the eaten confessions he no longer hungered for some reason to dislike her. If anything, he just found it becoming more and more confusing about the reasons why he was jealous.
Shikamaru was off his game anyway, trying to juggle all his responsibilities that suddenly snuck up on him. It gave Chouji a sense of security to know that when he would fall he would still reach for his best friend’s scarf to hold on. That never changed, even though it would be Temari’s fan he’d use as a crutch to keep from sinking into the pitfalls. It would be Temari who struck out ahead, confident and bickering at every pathway they crossed, picking one randomly even though she had no idea where she was going.
And Shikamaru would complain and follow her. Chouji would then follow them both, staring at their backs without blinking until her purple and gold melded with his green and black and it was simply a mesh of colors. Sharp and subtle and inviting him to just take a few more steps in order to join them.
“Chouji, you’re too quiet,” Temari grunted in declaration.
“You’re too noisy,” Shikamaru retorted back lazily. Only it wasn’t simply a defense for his friend, but part of their dialogue where she would state something outrageous and wait for his counterattack.
“I’m just hungry,” Chouji said and shuffled off to the side.
Except Temari was blocking his way, herding him back to Shikamaru as she tossed him a small roll of sushi. “Here, I made it myself.”
The other boy’s eyebrows furrowed in concern and he didn’t have to say anything before Temari rounded on him, her arms thrown up in exasperation. “Okay, fine. From now on I’ll save your ass and you do the cooking.”
“Thank you,” Chouji said, unwrapping the rolls and filling his mouth with them so they wouldn’t expect him to talk further.
Shikamaru stared up at the sky, grumbling, “I told you you’d give her ideas.”
“Shut up,” Temari laughed, with absolutely no malice in it at all.
It had gotten to the point where he could not think of them as wholly separate. Even when Chouji talked to Ino of the times before there were the moments where it was what Shikamaru would say if Temari was nearby, or Shikamaru as he looked when she or he had done something expecting to get caught. They were a lot alike after all.
Then the day came when Shikamaru knew, and Chouji knew that he knew because he could smell the scent that was no longer distinctly sand and jasmine fully on Shikamaru. The siege was over, although it never could be counted as such. He wondered if such confusion was the supposed advantage of plunging into the unknown, leaving everything behind on a gambit.
Temari deserved it, they both knew. She was the only one who was persistent enough to put up with him. And Chouji didn’t think he had to put up with Shikamaru. He didn’t have to put up with Temari either. They were too much alike, and he loved Shikamaru, and he loved Temari, and he loved how they clashed and sparked against each other, how the smell of forest and sand grew fuller when they mixed.
But he tugged at the bandages that covered both his arms, around his knuckles and elbows, and wondered why neither of them bothered with such ornamentation.
“Hey, Chouji,” Shikamaru said, like nothing at all changed, “what’s wrong?”
He hadn’t changed. Not really. Neither did Temari. They were just like they were supposed to be. Everything about them was laid bare in the introduction, both of them shouting out intentions and leaving nothing else left to hide behind.
Chouji didn’t know he was crying until he felt the tears slipping down, and he laughed like Temari did before, with no anger in it. “I’m sorry Shikamaru, I just got scared.”
Shikamaru just grunted and leaned into him, as if the wind suddenly became too much for him to bother standing against. “What a pain in the ass this is,” he leaned in, and Chouji could feel the imprint of his jaw against flesh. “You know I love you.”
“I...yeah.”
Shikamaru grunted. “You know she loves you too.”
Chouji flushed and bowed his head, feeling the coldness of his metal headband where it hung around his neck still. “But...”
“She’s a pain about it, I know,” Shikamaru replied, which was both exactly what Chouji needed to know and what he didn’t.
Temari was walking down the path to meet them, and Chouji could see the span of her giant fan cast a shadow so large it looked as if it could encompass them all. She was wearing a smirk just as large as she saw how Shikamaru laid on him.
“But what about...” Chouji didn’t know what to say, didn’t know what to call it. Perhaps this was what it felt to be under a direct attack.
“I always said relationships were complicated,” Shikamaru sighed, staring up at a sky that was blue like any other sky. “Troublesome.”
And Temari stood by them with a fan that blocked out the sunlight and said, “You say that about everything.”
Despite his confusion Chouji knew the best answer. “Because it’s true.”
ETA:
“So, lemme get this straight...” Temari drawled with one hand on her throne and the other gently caressing her fan. “You want to fight me, the badass Kazekage, for bedroom rights on my boytoy?”
Shikamaru shot her an annoyed look, more for intimidating his prostrate friend than for the remark. He had gotten used to that attitude in Sand Country, as much of a pain as it was. “Hey now, Temari...”
“Yes I do!” Chouji shouted and moved from his bowing position to one on his knees. His one bandaged fist was clenched and there was a fire in his eyes that no one had seen outside of an Akimichi barbeque, and no one outside of the clan lived to tell about those events.
From the gallery seating, one could hear Rock Lee’s echoed cheer of “You can do it Chouji-san! Be the best you can be and win for true love!”
Shikamaru rolled his eyes. So that’s where Chouji got this harebrained scheme. He tried to coax his muscles to work so he could step in between them, but the pillows Temari got for him were very comfortable, and he was very lazy.
Besides, things weren’t bad being a counselor for the Sand Country really. When he first got here he was worried that Temari might stake her claims on him (which she did) and put a chain around his neck to parade like some kind of pet in the counsel chambers (which she didn’t, although that didn’t stop her from experimenting in their private quarters...).
It was really sweet that Chouji came to “rescue” him, but he had to admit, grabby behavior and her inability to cook aside, this was a nice arrangement. Really, she got other people to cook for both of them.
“I won’t let you hold the one I love captive!” Chouji declared again, albeit a little hesitant in his delivery. And this time Shikamaru was sure Lee had given him note cards to read off of, but the heart was there and it tugged a smile at his lips. If he wasn’t afraid of his girlfriend beating the tar out of his boyfriend, he would think of it as sweet.
Temari shot Shikamaru a look that translated as “Look, I want to be tactful here, but I’m very close to violence and sarcasm so could you deal with this for once since it’s your problem?” And she declared every word of that sentiment perfectly, half because they were intimate after a long time and the other part was because Temari was very...expressive.
“Wait a second you two...” Shikamaru waved them off.
“You can do it Chouji!” Lee, being not helpful again.
Temari sighed and shouted over to the gallery, “Gaara, go take your boyfriend somewhere else and shut him up!”
And even though she couldn’t tell because of the shadows, she knew somehow her little brother was enjoying this on some level. The bastard...
“There you go again, telling people what to do...” Chouji started, “Shikamaru doesn’t like being bossed around. I don’t want to fight you but if you’d just let him choose...”
Temari grimaced and in her frustration she slammed the two ton fan into the ground, leaving cracks into the palace floor. “Shikamaru!” She strolled over to where he was and pulled him up to her face. “You’re the genius. Figure out a solution!”
Shikamaru sighed. He looked to Chouji, who was willing to risk his life against a full blown Kazekage for his safety. He looked back at Temari, who was willing to swallow her pride for his best wishes. Suddenly, his mouth quirked into a grin as he thought of a solution to their problem. It was so deceptively simple that this time he didn’t even need to clasp his hands in concentration.
Shikamaru tugged Temari closer to whisper into her ear. For a second she had no reaction, then her eyes went wide and she looked as if she was going to slap him, then she looked like she was going to kiss him. Neither one boded well in Chouji’s view.
“Hey Chouji-san,” Temari smirked, smoothing out the wrinkles she made in Shikamaru’s yukata a little too seductively. “How do you feel about being in a harem?”
“A harem?” squeaked the young chuunin.
“Yeah, why not?” Temari said, “Shikamaru thought of it. You two can get free room and board and I get two handsome Leaf boys.”
When Chouji’s jaw didn’t drop to the floor, Shikamaru saw it as a good sign. “Hey Chouji, come on, Naruto gets teased for his Hyuuga harem, why not live up the good life?”
Chouji looked at Temari and blushed bright red. “Well, I’m not really sure about this but...if it’d make you happy Shikamaru...”
“Such a beautiful happy ending! True love finally does win out! I’m overjoyed! I’m ecstatic! I’m—”
“Gaara! I’ll give you a week’s vacation off patrol if you take him with you right now!” Temari shouted.
There was a sound like an entire beach had suddenly moved to better waters and small hearts floating away into the distance. In the new found silence Shikamaru realized, groping aside, Temari had the potential of a great Kazekage.
And he was looking forward to some downtime in a harem.