For any CFUD fans. Request away any drabble or doodle. I'll try to respond in a timely fashion. Jokes about my speed will result in Ed-like "Who's so slow they move like LA traffic?!" ranting.
It was bad enough that psycho retard thought he was a pokemon, worse that he was in love with him.
But Murata insisting they were married was going just too damn far.
"Get the hell off me before I break your arm," Sasuke growled and tried to distance himself on the small cot they shared. Biff insisted they live in a manner that wasn't conducive to sinning. Sasuke asked Biff if murder still counted as a sin, because he was going to do it. Soon. Right after Ash took his hands off him and gave him enough space to choke him properly.
"But fire Pokemon types are so warm!" Ash protested, snuggling more into Sasuke. "And a good trainer sleeps with his pokemon to make sure they feel connected and safe! That's the only way you're going to evolve into a higher type!"
Sasuke realized Ash's words held some strange unintentional truth in them. He suddenly had a new understanding for Itachi's prediliction to kill his family. Especially if the in-laws were like Ash.
"-Because you disgust me in a way I can only describe as beyond the constraints of human understanding. You're a specimen of such stupidity the only reason you wouldn't be studied for scientific means is that you're completely worthless except to exist as anti-matter, destroying whatever braincells around you with your incompetence."
Excel blinked, soaking in the barrage of insults the diminutive Sohma male had thrown at her. A small noise caught in the back of her throat.
"You...you..."
Oh, now he had done it. Hiro winced inwardly. And after her promised Kisa to be nicer to stupid animals.
"Your abuse reminds me so much of Il Palazo! If you just had the rope I think I'd demand you take me right now!"
And with that Excel had pounced on her unsuspecting new interest and forcibly stuck her tongue in his mouth.
Hiro had to admit, if he was going to be eaten. At least this way was the lesser of two evils.
It was hard being a single pregnant...father, and trying to raise your child up in the harsh, unforgiving world. Especially if that world had zombies and gorillas and tentacle monsters just across the way. Not even a decent playground for miles.
Superboy knew he had to be strong in this time. He had to understand the importance of being both roles, taking responsibility even if it was all alone.
"And just look at my thighs! Nobody will want me after this. The stretch marks alone will take all my TK to cover up-!"
He was going to blame it on hormones. So the hormones.
Bart Allen, Kon's best friend, teammate, and right now lamaze coach, sympathized.
"Don't worry Kon! I think you're great no matter what happens. And I'll always be there for you and the baby!"
Kon gave an unmanly sniff. "Re-really? You mean it?"
"Sure! I'd be happy to be the father of your child!" Bart proclaimed proudly, puffing his scrawny chest out as far as it could go.
Kon didn't know if it was the hormones doing it, or if it was something innate in his Kryptonian cloned genes, but he hugged him then. It was a warm, fuzzy feeling of belonging. Only interrupted by one nagging realization.
Ban considered it a big pain in the ass that Matsuri's C.I.T.s were horning in on the lucrative business being stuck in CFUD provided the Get Backers. Not only was he organized, better prepared, and just downright more pleasant to the clientele, he was doing it mostly for free! As in no money at all!
"Oi! So just who do you think you are, muscling in on the Get Backers like this. We've got a business to run too and you're way too nice about this C.I.T. thing, what's your angle pretty boy?"
Matsuri laughed and tossed his windswept hair back gaily. "Why to get into your partners pants of course~♥!"
For the longest time Near and Chisame had nothing in common. He was all business and logic. She was all insecurities and cosplay. Together they didn't even fight crime. They barely spoke.
But circumstances conspired to bring them together. First Mello fell for Near, then Chisame fell for Mello. Then a crazy pop idol came to camp, which meant Mello had to be bound and gagged because she could kill him. It was strictly for his own good.
That left Near with little recourse, and even fewer allies. The only one he could trust with Mello's best interests in mind was Chisame. So he let her in Boys' Cabin 1 so they could watch over their mutual link.
But that got boring, and Near still hadn't forgiven Mello for almost shooting him so they turned to other things.
"Did you bring it?" Near whispered conspiratorially.
"Right here!" Chisame grinned wildly, her face flush from running to the cabin.
"Mfslkngpjh!" Mello protested from behind his gag.
Near leaned close to Chisame, smelling the particular brand of shampoo and the curve of her shoulders. "Shall we begin?"
The girl's voice was a husky whisper, "Lets."
Near picked up the manga Chisame borrowed from Rukia and began to read. "If someone told me being in love was like eating chocolate cake I would have laughed until I felt him stir inside me. And then I realized how much I liked chocolate cake..."
Chisame giggled, leaning seductively over Near's lap to show the manga's rendition of foreplay.
"Mhognadepjkgh!" Mello screeched, unable to turn his head away but protesting at every turn.
Chisame still liked Mello more, and Near was still mostly a mystery. But she had to admit this time brought a new similarity to their forefront.
The forces of ACROSS and ANVIL had met, the battle had been joined. Really cool explosives had gone off the likes of which could impress even John Woo.
It had taken Quincy, Beast Boy, Starfire and Superboy their combined strengths to best Lord Il Palazo. Princess Powerful had succumbed to fatigue after besting Elgala. Sokka and Zim were evenly matched in that both of them really should never have held pointy objects in the first place.
That left only Excel and Impulse standing.
"You don't hafta do this!" Bart pleaded, thinking of all the times they shared. Thinking how nice she could be when she wasn't traumatizing him. "We can work this out!"
"We can work it out when you're in the reeducation camps!" Excel shouted, loading up her bazooka. "If you make it that far."
"But school is boring!"
"FIRE ZE MISSILES!"
Impulse, caught off guard debating whether death by missiles or multiple pop quizzes could be a worse death, was propelled across the lake. It made him kinda sad to think about how things came to this, and he wasn't the type to angst. He did that for a while, reliving his death over and over again in his mind like a CLAMP issue, but then he realized the reruns got boring and he had to move on.
"I'll stop you, Excel! If it's the last thing I do!" Bart shouted, wondering what would Flash do. What would Superman do. What would any hero who was popular enough to get their own title with the neat logo print do in a situation like this.
Oh yeah, dramatize.
"EXCEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLL!"
"BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRT!" Excel returned as in character. Avoiding the fact it sounded more Homer Simpson than heart-wrenching, it was a step up.
"EXCEEEEEEEEEELLL!"
"BAAAAAAAAAARRT!"
Twenty minutes later...
His lungs had given out. A small cough was all he could manage before collapsing on his knees. Bart Allen, the superhero known as Impulse had given his all and looked on to see if had been enough.
Excel was just as staggered. Her tongue had rolled out from overuse and it was all she could do to take her emergency flare/marker and write down on a piece of cardboard ruin:
"Same time next week?"
Bart gave a thumbs up. Near apocalyptic stages were a lot more fun if they were unfinished. Because if CLAMP taught them anything it was to leave the reader hanging...
Bart had taken Ari over to his cabin to play video games as a way to offer comfort. The inattentive superhero thought Ari needed it, because when it got bad enough that Bart could notice the angst, well, it was really, really, really bad.
"How about this one!" Bart proffered, "The loading time takes foreeeeeeeeeever, but the characters are really cool and it involves heroics! Dashing deeds of daring do!"
Normally such an act would have at least sparked an exasperated grin from the boy, but today Ari remained quiet and aloof from Bart's prattling.
"Hey, I think you'd be really good at these. The hero gets to use fire and it's super neat!"
Ari gave his friend a steady look. "You don't have to try so hard to cheer me up. I know I'm just this weak kid and I couldn't do anything when Stan made me hurt Ishida and Murata and..."
His rant was cut short as a pair of arms wrapped around him instantaneously, Impulse pulling him close in a friendly hug. Something telling him it was the only way Ari's friend could communicate how worried he was, and how glad he was to have him back, and how he didn't need to apologize for something he never was blamed for.
"Ari, you can be so dense sometimes," Impulse muttered.
Pavlovian responses were something the psychologist's community used to describe the unconscious response any animal gives when a stimulus was paired with a result, leading that animal to associate the two.
They never thought it was possible for the connection to exist based on one instant.
"BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH~" T-Zou bleated, headbutting Hiro from behind.
"Get the hell away from me you rotten excuse for a grandma sweater!" the boy shouted, his previous paranoia of his Jyunishi curse being discovered was slowly replaced with a fear of...something else.
"Meeehh. Beeeeeeh~" T-Zou replied as if he knew exactly what Hiro said and was responding in kind with comments about how his mother copulated with reindeer.
"I don't have any of that blasted trail mix on me! Shoo! Go ask the idiot girl!"
But while T-Zou seemed perfectly capable of understanding Hiro's intentions, the reverse didn't hold true as T-Zou took a flying leap and then Hiro could only recal darkness.
---
"Oh dear, T-Zou-san, are you all right?" Tohru Honda cooed, petting the sheep's coat in the only way she could assume was comfortable. "I don't think it would be okay to do that to Hiro-kun if you want trail mix next time, but I shall try to give you more just because if that's okay with you. I'm truly sorry!"
"Heh, apologizing to a sheep on behalf of a brat, eh?" Yuusuke Urameshi muttered, leaning down to help Tohru up. But before he knew it T-Zou had leapt up and caught his prize, snatching Yuusuke's dangling cigarette in its teeth before scampering off with it.
"Hey, walking mutton! You'll pay for that when I catch you next!" Yuusuke shouted.
Hiro winced, waking up to the sound of a loud, angry shounen fight. "What the hell did you two do wrong now?" he hissed.
"Oh Hiro-kun! I'm so glad you're awake!" Tohru said. "Due to a misunderstanding we believe you are the reason poor T-Zou is off having a satisfying smoke now."
"There's something I need to discuss with you," Itachi Uchiha announced one day to Kabuto.
The medic-nin flashed a smile that had absolutely no emotion attached to it before bowing slightly, acknowledging the offer. "What can I help you with? That is, unless it goes against Master Orochimaru's orders."
"I do not care what you do with my little brother."
"And we don't care what you do with Naruto."
Neither of the pair was man enough to admit how pedophilic it sounded. They preferred to blame it on their stoicism.
"I have a...delicate matter."
"Please don't tell me you're pregnant," Kabuto laughed, only half-kidding.
Itachi shot him a look.
"Neji?"
"It has nothing to do with that," Itachi sidestepped the issue gracefully.
"Well then, what could the powerful slaughterer of the Uchiha clan want with me?"
"Where did you get those frames? I was thinking of getting the same, so they don't make my face look fat."
"...what?"
"Don't make me repeat myself."
"Uh, I could design you a pair myself."
"That won't be necessary," the elder ninja stated before gathering up to leave. "Oh and Kabuto?"
"Yes?"
"We'll speak of this to no one," he warned. "Or the pictures of Orochimaru and Michael Jackson come out."
Things were not happy in the Urameshi-Lee-Haruno-von Walde household. Not at all. It hadn't gotten to the plate throwing and keeping the neighbors up stage, no, with three out of the four affianced members maintaining power levels that could destroy Texas (and probably already took out a portion of it if Yuusuke's reigun blast had actually landed there) their level of domestic violence approached cataclysmic levels.
So Rock Lee decided he would do what was in the best interest of his wife...and two husbands. He would take them to counseling.
"Welcome to Ayame Sohma's relationship crisis center~♥ Here we welcome all forms of manly romance (and romance with Sakura could count like that since she seems to be an aficionado of chasing after gay men)~♥"
And for once Gwendal, Yuusuke and Sakura could all agree on one thing. Not the color of the curtains, not who had to cook what and who had to sleep with who. Not even on the stupid custom that got them stuck in the mess. But when Ayame brought out the book on tantric orgies, that brought them the motivation no other trauma could.
Two for you! Because you are just that awesome and I am just slow. *sigh*
Bart plays Okage, and Ari reads Young Justice
"There's something not fair about this."
"You're telling me!" Superboy said. "I'm a dude. Out there I had ladies all over me! Now what am I going to do when the whole world realizes I'm a pregnant unwed superhero clone?"
"You said you didn't want me to raise it," Cal sighed.
"That isn't it. Between me, Bart and Robin...well, mostly me and Robin, the kid will have a decent home. But it's just-man! I didn't even do the stuff to get pregnant!"
"Yes, indeed," Cal said, rolling his eyes. "But what I really meant was if you're going to be punished you might as well do the deed."
"Huh?"
Cal didn't bother responding in any vocal way. And Kon's TK wasn't quite prepared for what Wraethelu called "the deed." But at least he wasn't a virgin anymore...technically. Sort of. Kon's Libido: 1. Universe: 23,467.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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But Murata insisting they were married was going just too damn far.
"Get the hell off me before I break your arm," Sasuke growled and tried to distance himself on the small cot they shared. Biff insisted they live in a manner that wasn't conducive to sinning. Sasuke asked Biff if murder still counted as a sin, because he was going to do it. Soon. Right after Ash took his hands off him and gave him enough space to choke him properly.
"But fire Pokemon types are so warm!" Ash protested, snuggling more into Sasuke. "And a good trainer sleeps with his pokemon to make sure they feel connected and safe! That's the only way you're going to evolve into a higher type!"
Sasuke realized Ash's words held some strange unintentional truth in them. He suddenly had a new understanding for Itachi's prediliction to kill his family. Especially if the in-laws were like Ash.
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Excel blinked, soaking in the barrage of insults the diminutive Sohma male had thrown at her. A small noise caught in the back of her throat.
"You...you..."
Oh, now he had done it. Hiro winced inwardly. And after her promised Kisa to be nicer to stupid animals.
"Your abuse reminds me so much of Il Palazo! If you just had the rope I think I'd demand you take me right now!"
And with that Excel had pounced on her unsuspecting new interest and forcibly stuck her tongue in his mouth.
Hiro had to admit, if he was going to be eaten. At least this way was the lesser of two evils.
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Superboy knew he had to be strong in this time. He had to understand the importance of being both roles, taking responsibility even if it was all alone.
"And just look at my thighs! Nobody will want me after this. The stretch marks alone will take all my TK to cover up-!"
He was going to blame it on hormones. So the hormones.
Bart Allen, Kon's best friend, teammate, and right now lamaze coach, sympathized.
"Don't worry Kon! I think you're great no matter what happens. And I'll always be there for you and the baby!"
Kon gave an unmanly sniff. "Re-really? You mean it?"
"Sure! I'd be happy to be the father of your child!" Bart proclaimed proudly, puffing his scrawny chest out as far as it could go.
Kon didn't know if it was the hormones doing it, or if it was something innate in his Kryptonian cloned genes, but he hugged him then. It was a warm, fuzzy feeling of belonging. Only interrupted by one nagging realization.
Crap, he was still going to be the mom.
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"Oi! So just who do you think you are, muscling in on the Get Backers like this. We've got a business to run too and you're way too nice about this C.I.T. thing, what's your angle pretty boy?"
Matsuri laughed and tossed his windswept hair back gaily. "Why to get into your partners pants of course~♥!"
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But circumstances conspired to bring them together. First Mello fell for Near, then Chisame fell for Mello. Then a crazy pop idol came to camp, which meant Mello had to be bound and gagged because she could kill him. It was strictly for his own good.
That left Near with little recourse, and even fewer allies. The only one he could trust with Mello's best interests in mind was Chisame. So he let her in Boys' Cabin 1 so they could watch over their mutual link.
But that got boring, and Near still hadn't forgiven Mello for almost shooting him so they turned to other things.
"Did you bring it?" Near whispered conspiratorially.
"Right here!" Chisame grinned wildly, her face flush from running to the cabin.
"Mfslkngpjh!" Mello protested from behind his gag.
Near leaned close to Chisame, smelling the particular brand of shampoo and the curve of her shoulders. "Shall we begin?"
The girl's voice was a husky whisper, "Lets."
Near picked up the manga Chisame borrowed from Rukia and began to read. "If someone told me being in love was like eating chocolate cake I would have laughed until I felt him stir inside me. And then I realized how much I liked chocolate cake..."
Chisame giggled, leaning seductively over Near's lap to show the manga's rendition of foreplay.
"Mhognadepjkgh!" Mello screeched, unable to turn his head away but protesting at every turn.
Chisame still liked Mello more, and Near was still mostly a mystery. But she had to admit this time brought a new similarity to their forefront.
Mutual sadism.
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Ask and ye shall get
Re: Ask and ye shall get
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Sorry, not much to go on since I haven't interacted with him
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It had taken Quincy, Beast Boy, Starfire and Superboy their combined strengths to best Lord Il Palazo. Princess Powerful had succumbed to fatigue after besting Elgala. Sokka and Zim were evenly matched in that both of them really should never have held pointy objects in the first place.
That left only Excel and Impulse standing.
"You don't hafta do this!" Bart pleaded, thinking of all the times they shared. Thinking how nice she could be when she wasn't traumatizing him. "We can work this out!"
"We can work it out when you're in the reeducation camps!" Excel shouted, loading up her bazooka. "If you make it that far."
"But school is boring!"
"FIRE ZE MISSILES!"
Impulse, caught off guard debating whether death by missiles or multiple pop quizzes could be a worse death, was propelled across the lake. It made him kinda sad to think about how things came to this, and he wasn't the type to angst. He did that for a while, reliving his death over and over again in his mind like a CLAMP issue, but then he realized the reruns got boring and he had to move on.
"I'll stop you, Excel! If it's the last thing I do!" Bart shouted, wondering what would Flash do. What would Superman do. What would any hero who was popular enough to get their own title with the neat logo print do in a situation like this.
Oh yeah, dramatize.
"EXCEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLL!"
"BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRT!" Excel returned as in character. Avoiding the fact it sounded more Homer Simpson than heart-wrenching, it was a step up.
"EXCEEEEEEEEEELLL!"
"BAAAAAAAAAARRT!"
Twenty minutes later...
His lungs had given out. A small cough was all he could manage before collapsing on his knees. Bart Allen, the superhero known as Impulse had given his all and looked on to see if had been enough.
Excel was just as staggered. Her tongue had rolled out from overuse and it was all she could do to take her emergency flare/marker and write down on a piece of cardboard ruin:
"Same time next week?"
Bart gave a thumbs up. Near apocalyptic stages were a lot more fun if they were unfinished. Because if CLAMP taught them anything it was to leave the reader hanging...
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Set after the black gear thing
"How about this one!" Bart proffered, "The loading time takes foreeeeeeeeeever, but the characters are really cool and it involves heroics! Dashing deeds of daring do!"
Normally such an act would have at least sparked an exasperated grin from the boy, but today Ari remained quiet and aloof from Bart's prattling.
"Hey, I think you'd be really good at these. The hero gets to use fire and it's super neat!"
Ari gave his friend a steady look. "You don't have to try so hard to cheer me up. I know I'm just this weak kid and I couldn't do anything when Stan made me hurt Ishida and Murata and..."
His rant was cut short as a pair of arms wrapped around him instantaneously, Impulse pulling him close in a friendly hug. Something telling him it was the only way Ari's friend could communicate how worried he was, and how glad he was to have him back, and how he didn't need to apologize for something he never was blamed for.
"Ari, you can be so dense sometimes," Impulse muttered.
Coming from Bart, that said a lot.
Re: Set after the black gear thing
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They never thought it was possible for the connection to exist based on one instant.
"BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH~" T-Zou bleated, headbutting Hiro from behind.
"Get the hell away from me you rotten excuse for a grandma sweater!" the boy shouted, his previous paranoia of his Jyunishi curse being discovered was slowly replaced with a fear of...something else.
"Meeehh. Beeeeeeh~" T-Zou replied as if he knew exactly what Hiro said and was responding in kind with comments about how his mother copulated with reindeer.
"I don't have any of that blasted trail mix on me! Shoo! Go ask the idiot girl!"
But while T-Zou seemed perfectly capable of understanding Hiro's intentions, the reverse didn't hold true as T-Zou took a flying leap and then Hiro could only recal darkness.
---
"Oh dear, T-Zou-san, are you all right?" Tohru Honda cooed, petting the sheep's coat in the only way she could assume was comfortable. "I don't think it would be okay to do that to Hiro-kun if you want trail mix next time, but I shall try to give you more just because if that's okay with you. I'm truly sorry!"
"Heh, apologizing to a sheep on behalf of a brat, eh?" Yuusuke Urameshi muttered, leaning down to help Tohru up. But before he knew it T-Zou had leapt up and caught his prize, snatching Yuusuke's dangling cigarette in its teeth before scampering off with it.
"Hey, walking mutton! You'll pay for that when I catch you next!" Yuusuke shouted.
Hiro winced, waking up to the sound of a loud, angry shounen fight. "What the hell did you two do wrong now?" he hissed.
"Oh Hiro-kun! I'm so glad you're awake!" Tohru said. "Due to a misunderstanding we believe you are the reason poor T-Zou is off having a satisfying smoke now."
"Bugger this," Yuusuke grumbled.
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"...I'm not going to say anything about it."
"Good."
"...really."
"I would prefer it."
"..."
"..."
The two Konoha ninjas kept unfocused stares from the matter at hand. The large, curvaceous, gender-bending matter at hand. Then:
"So did he tap that?"
"For the last time Sasuke, touching my ass will not make you stronger than Itachi. No matter how many times you tap it."
"...damn," said Sasuke.
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The medic-nin flashed a smile that had absolutely no emotion attached to it before bowing slightly, acknowledging the offer. "What can I help you with? That is, unless it goes against Master Orochimaru's orders."
"I do not care what you do with my little brother."
"And we don't care what you do with Naruto."
Neither of the pair was man enough to admit how pedophilic it sounded. They preferred to blame it on their stoicism.
"I have a...delicate matter."
"Please don't tell me you're pregnant," Kabuto laughed, only half-kidding.
Itachi shot him a look.
"Neji?"
"It has nothing to do with that," Itachi sidestepped the issue gracefully.
"Well then, what could the powerful slaughterer of the Uchiha clan want with me?"
"Where did you get those frames? I was thinking of getting the same, so they don't make my face look fat."
"...what?"
"Don't make me repeat myself."
"Uh, I could design you a pair myself."
"That won't be necessary," the elder ninja stated before gathering up to leave. "Oh and Kabuto?"
"Yes?"
"We'll speak of this to no one," he warned. "Or the pictures of Orochimaru and Michael Jackson come out."
"My lips are sealed."
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Because their love is so universe-shattering!
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So Rock Lee decided he would do what was in the best interest of his wife...and two husbands. He would take them to counseling.
"Welcome to Ayame Sohma's relationship crisis center~♥ Here we welcome all forms of manly romance (and romance with Sakura could count like that since she seems to be an aficionado of chasing after gay men)~♥"
And for once Gwendal, Yuusuke and Sakura could all agree on one thing. Not the color of the curtains, not who had to cook what and who had to sleep with who. Not even on the stupid custom that got them stuck in the mess. But when Ayame brought out the book on tantric orgies, that brought them the motivation no other trauma could.
"NO LEE," they cried simultaneously, "JUST NO!"
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Either that, or a Bart-Ari doodle.
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Bart plays Okage, and Ari reads Young Justice
"There's something not fair about this."
"You're telling me!" Superboy said. "I'm a dude. Out there I had ladies all over me! Now what am I going to do when the whole world realizes I'm a pregnant unwed superhero clone?"
"You said you didn't want me to raise it," Cal sighed.
"That isn't it. Between me, Bart and Robin...well, mostly me and Robin, the kid will have a decent home. But it's just-man! I didn't even do the stuff to get pregnant!"
"Yes, indeed," Cal said, rolling his eyes. "But what I really meant was if you're going to be punished you might as well do the deed."
"Huh?"
Cal didn't bother responding in any vocal way. And Kon's TK wasn't quite prepared for what Wraethelu called "the deed." But at least he wasn't a virgin anymore...technically. Sort of. Kon's Libido: 1. Universe: 23,467.
And then he found out he was carrying twins.
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Wow, Ari could not be cuter!
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Ari is cute, but Bart is grumpy because Okage's loading time is teh suxxors.
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